What a day...

They were pretty much crawling out of the woodwork today.

There were too many to recount really, but a few stick in the mind.

Exhibit A is Broken Lead Guy (BLG). Mr BLG walks into the store and hands me a piece of broken lead. It's worth mentioning that i'm already serving someone, but apparently he thinks he's more important. Now i'd like to further expand on my initial meeting with him, but there's nothing else. He hands me a piece of broken lead. He then stares at me, wordlessly and expectantly.
After a moment's pause, all i can think to say is 'Yup, thats a lead alright. What would you like me to do about it?'
Cue strange, indecipherable babble. I think the word 'door' is in there somewhere but i'm not sure. The hand gestures he's making may in fact indicate 'Claw' or possibly 'Huge meteor dropping out of the sky.' I tell him sorry, but i didn't quite catch that. What was it he actually needed? Again i get the claw/meteor thing, and a word that sounded a little like 'Booshk' but little else. I tell him, alright, i'm just serving this guy here, i'll get back to you alright?
Whilst serving the other guy, one of my colleagues becomes free and helps the guy for me. I'm pretty sure at this point he says 'I'd like a new lead like this one'. I of course had pretty much guessed this, but i rather like to make sure we're on the same level. Why he decided he couldn't tell me is anyone's guess.

Exhibit B is a typical case of Inappropriate Answer Syndrome. A prime example in fact. A gentlemen brings me the keyfob to his car (The bit that unlocks the door and/or arms/disarms the alarm). It needs a new battery, which isnt an uncommon request. This usually means i'll have to take it apart and find out what battery it needs first. Yet foolishly i reserve a little hope, and ask himw hich battery it takes, in the hope that he'll have checked himself (This particular guy actually had two of these, one of which was in fact already opened).
He tells me 'I bought them here two years ago.' I wait a moment. Maybe it was just an offhand comment. Nope. There's no more mental activity going on there. He's decided that was the answer to my question.
Reflect on this for a moment. I did not work here two years go. If i did, the chances of me remembering you and what you bought are next to zero. The only chance of me remembering a customer and exactly what they bought two years ago would be if they were a seven foot tall, green skinned crosdresser with no arms and only one leg, who happened to have bought a large mechanical walrus. A short, unremarkable indian guy with a small watch battery stands no chance whatsoever. So wearily i get my screwdriver and set about my task.

Exhibit C is Never Listens Guy (NLG). We get a lot of these. He tells me he needs a Hdmi to VGA adaptor. He sees HDMI to DVI, but thats it. I kindly tell him sorry, but thats all we do. We dont do what he wants. I'm not certain what he wants is at all available anywhere, he might need to do a little research.
'I see HDMI to DVI, DVI to HDMI, but i need HDMI to VGA'
Yeah i know. I don't have that. Sorry.
'I see HDMI to DVI, DVI to HDMI, but i need HDMI to VGA'
Again yes. You told me. Dont have 'em. Sorry.
'See, like this. VGA. I need this. I have HDMI. I need this to HDMI.'
Yup, i know what a VGA socket looks like. I still don't have them.
He now pores over the catalogue for a while, turning pages back and forth. He points to the pictures a few times and repeats 'I see HDMI to DVI, DVI to HDMI, but i need HDMI to VGA'.
This goes on for a good ten minutes. I'm not joking. I only wish i were. I had my hands behind my back, gripping my belt because my hands seemed to want to reach out and brain him.

And so my day continued. These weren't the only guys by a long shot, only those i could be bothered to describe in any detail here. We still had the usual glut of Suddenly Vanishing Customers, Wanderers, Refuse-To-Move-No-Matter-The-Reason people and so on and so on.

I can only hope the rest of the week is as rich in providing material as today was.

No... On second thoughts no. I really don't.